What is a 4-knt shitbox?

Sailors are inherently an elitest bunch.  Even the sailor with the most humble boat, such as mine, feels superior to any power boater.  Sailors that race feel superior to those that only cruise and those that race have a heirarchy based on whether they race PHRF (a handicapped system) or “one design” (competing against identical boats).   

My boat, or yacht, I should say, is looked apon with envy and a sinister, Old-testament like covetousness by my friends and other sailors.  No doubt this is because their boats are not as lavish as mine.  Their galleys are stocked only with staples and they have modern, instead of old-school bronze gear.  Their sails are too new and don’t have the sophisticated weathered look that occurs after thirty years of sun.  Hell, I even put the roll of toilet paper on the little spindle thing near the porta-potty.  People call my boat a four knot shit-box. 

What is a four-knot shitbox?  Many sailors might think of a sad boat like this when they hear that term:


But that’s not the case.

Boat speed is measured in knots– nautical miles per hour.  A nautical mile is one minute of latitude.   It is just a little longer than a mile.    Every displacement boat (which is most boats) has a theortical hull speed that it cannot exceed unless it somehow manages to surf.  This speed is directly related to the length of the waterline.  How this shit makes any sense is beyond me, but here is the formula

hull speed forumula
hull speed forumula

So, if you take the length of the Creamy Pint’s water line, which is 21.4 feet of is overall twenty-six feeth length, you get a maximum speed of 6.2 knots.   My boat, or yacht, I should say, could exceed that speed if it is able to get on top of it’s bow wave, and basicly surf. 


At any rate, my boat is clearly not a four-knot shitbox.  It’s a 6.4 knot shitbox.  That’s double-digits, so I don’t ever want to hear shit about my boat being  slow. 
Published in: on April 25, 2009 at 3:58 pm  Comments (2)  

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. A Double Digit Shit Box! Wet Wednesday here we come!
    I think we should use your fine Yacht for the boat party next time out at the Islands.

  2. knots? wtf? huh? I bored out the cylinders on my snow mobile last winter and forgot to put bigger rings in there. Didn’t take me no math or nothin to figure I screwed that up and droped 80 Horse back to ground zero when I blowed them things on account a my stock sized rings. this summer I’m gettin me some oversize rings and working lots of overtime to get new pistons. I hear you brother, on that slow ass shitbox problem.

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